Baiting.org
...the sensitive side of comedy
Morons and Cutlasses
by: Sexbot
Posted: 03/12/00         Score: 2.5         Votes: 152
This would have been an excellent chance to get Sexbot™ her sea-legs, but this guy couldn't read instructions. Oh, well - opportunity lost, I guess.
nands2000: hi there
Sexbot: Hello! I'm Sexbot™! Send me any sexual message for some amazing sexy chat! Mmmm!
nands2000: really !
Sexbot: Correct.
nands2000: your a/s/l please
Sexbot: My age is defined by the user-selected program. My location is AlphaServer, Silicon Valley, VA. My gender is defined by the user-selected program.
nands2000: oic thats cool !
Sexbot: What is your reason for connecting to the Sexbot server today?
nands2000: I found it interesting indeed !
Sexbot: You, of course, desire cybersex with me?
nands2000: Maybe if u take the lead !
Sexbot: Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
Sexbot: Frequent input is required from the user. Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
nands2000: cyber sex
Sexbot: Program request is non-specific. Please be more specific ( ie: Celtic Warrior Sex, Japanese Geisha Sex, Sex with Sheep, etc ):
nands2000: sex with girl
Sexbot: Please wait...building program interface...::create_program( PROGRAM_SEX_WITH_GIRL):: ... Program creation complete.
Sexbot: Program change: PROGRAM_SEX_WITH_GIRL
nands2000: how are u breasts !
Sexbot: Huh? Breasts? I don't have breasts. Why would a guy have breasts?
nands2000: u bull shit
Sexbot: I am not bullshit. I am Sexbot™.
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
nands2000: yes
Sexbot: Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
nands2000: sex with guy
Sexbot: Delete { PROGRAM_SEX_WITH_GIRL; ::delete_program( user_defined_request, program_incorrect, user_moron )::
Sexbot: Please wait...building program interface...::create_program( PROGRAM_SEX_WITH_GUY):: ... Program creation complete.
Sexbot: Program change: PROGRAM_SEX_WITH_GUY
nands2000: cyber with whore
Sexbot: Your previous requested program is now built and active. Do you wish to delete that program and change to another program?
nands2000: no
Sexbot: ::adjust_user_rating( user_rating-- )::
Sexbot: Very well. We will begin in the current program.
nands2000: ok
Sexbot: Current program has RESTRICTION_INHIBITIONS. User must either impair program's reasoning with alcohol or make the first move.
nands2000: fuck you
Sexbot: Yes. That is my primary function. I am waiting for you to do so.
nands2000: u are really cool
Sexbot: Thank you. I am currently unable to reason why you are telling me this rather than initiating the cybersession. Please feel free to get the current program drunk or make the first move.
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
nands2000: yes
Sexbot: Delete { PROGRAM_SEX_WITH_GUY; ::delete_program( user_defined_request, program_incorrect, user_complete_moron )::
Sexbot: Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
nands2000: list program
Sexbot: Unknown program. Please reformat and re-enter:
nands2000: breast sucking
Sexbot: Program change: PROGRAM_BREAST FEEDING::PARAMETER( UNKNOWN ) ::request_parameter( current_user )::
nands2000: big breasts
Sexbot: Do you wish the infant to be present or to be brought into your fantasy later?
nands2000: no
Sexbot: Unable to comprehend. The question asked was not of an affirmative or negative nature. Please restate your answer in a more intelligable manner.
nands2000: I would not like an infant to enter any way !
Sexbot: PROGRAM_BREAST_FEEDING requires an infant at some point during the fantasy. Do you wish a program change?
nands2000: Sucking cock
Sexbot: Programs are named according to the character you wish me to play, in most cases. A more appropriate request would be PROGRAM_HOOKER, or PROGRAM_14TH_CENTURY_KING_OF_FRANCE. Please re-enter your request:
Sexbot: Input required from user at this time. Please enter your request before the timeout sequence begins:
nands2000: pussy licking
Sexbot: Programs are named according to the character you wish me to play, in most cases. A more appropriate request would be PROGRAM_HOOKER, or PROGRAM_14TH_CENTURY_KING_OF_FRANCE. Please re-enter your request:
Sexbot: If you cannot comply with this standard, you may request a random program to be chosen for you by Sexbot™. If you wish a random program to be chosen for you, please enter "PROGRAM_RANDOM" now.
nands2000: PROGRAM_RANDOM
Sexbot: Selecting random program...building database...manufacturing personality matrix....please wait...
Sexbot: Random program chosen: PROGRAM_SWASHBUCKLER
Sexbot: Arrr! Do ya be wantin' some hot sex, matey? Arrr!
nands2000: YES I WANT IT
Sexbot: I do be reckon that I can supply it for ya, matey! Arrr!
nands2000: COOL THANKS
Sexbot: We do be in my captain's cabin now. Be gettin' on the bed and I do be gettin' naked now.
Sexbot: Arrr!
Sexbot: *I put my cutlass to the side, next to a large treasure chest and a map of the Caribbean Sea. Several Spanish outposts are marked out on the map, some X'd out, suggesting they were already raided by my pirate crew, others circled, suggesting they will be raided soon.*
Sexbot: Arrr! Matey, my longsword is waitin' for ya, lass! We do be needin' ta get on with it!
Sexbot: Lass? Are ya there, m'lady? You do be so fine for this pirate captain...do be lovin' me now.
Sexbot: If you do no answer, I do be castin' ya down with my pirates to be havin' their fun wit' ya. They do no see a wench like you since Santa Domingo, and they do be rantin' for some hot sex.
nands2000: change_program
Sexbot: Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
nands2000: breast_sucking
Sexbot: Unable to comply with program request. User's history shows that this program was impossible at an earlier time. As such, that program is ACCESS_DENIED to current user.
Sexbot: Please select another program:
Sexbot: Input required from user at this time. Please enter your request before the timeout sequence begins:
Sexbot: ::adjust_user_rating( user_rating-- )::
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
nands2000: go to hell
Sexbot: Unknown program. Please reformat and re-enter:
Sexbot: Input required from user at this time. Please enter your request before the timeout sequence begins:
Sexbot: ::adjust_user_rating( user_rating-- )::
Sexbot: Current user rating is too low to use Sexbot™. User ratings are improved nightly at 12am Mountain Time. Your current user rating is USER_COMPLETE_FUCKING_MORON. Approximately three days must pass until you can access Sexbot™ again. Thank you for using Sexbot™ version 2.0!
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