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Yoga Sex
by: Jenny
Posted: 05/26/00         Score: 2.2         Votes: 87
I'm pretty sure the bullshit theories I talk about here would make me millions if Cosmo wrote an article about it. People are such sheep....
chuchulkp: hi jenny
Jenny: Hi!
chuchulkp: a/s/
Jenny: 14 f
chuchulkp: 33/m
Jenny: MMmmmm.....
chuchulkp: interested ?
Jenny: Hells yeah!
chuchulkp: thats good
chuchulkp: how r u
Jenny: I am great!
chuchulkp: same here
Jenny: Just looking for a man to do some Yoga Sex Exercises with.....
chuchulkp: u interested in yoga?
chuchulkp: pic?
Jenny: Yes...especially Yoga Sex Exercises...
Jenny: Sorry...no pic....
chuchulkp: thats ok
Jenny: 5'9", short brown hair, blue eyes, 110 lbs, tan, 36B

chuchulkp: 171 cms / black pepery hair / 71 kgs/ dark complexion / Indian
Jenny: Please...try some Yoga Sex with me...there is no financial obligation on your part, and it will help you achieve a higher level of orgasm.
chuchulkp: do u practice yoga regularly
Jenny: Yes...on a daily basis...
chuchulkp: cause i am a practitioner of yoga, but have a samll break will resume soon
chuchulkp: wel what asanas do you suggest for the increased sex orgasm
Jenny: Okay...First, I want you to take some deep breaths, close your eyes, and clear your mind
chuchulkp: good i trust u do know some yoga
chuchulkp: these are the basic steps to begin any yogasana. "relaxation"
Jenny: Of course, I know some yoga...this might be a branch of it that you have yet to experience though...
Jenny: Allright...now tell me what you sexually desire right now
chuchulkp: what do u think is the best position to make love
Jenny: Please...do not interrupt the exercise with your questions..It is important that we stay on the task on hand.
Jenny: Please, answer my question.
chuchulkp: ok teacher
chuchulkp: ok ok
chuchulkp: make love with all tenderness with both parties understanding and giving impulsively
Jenny: Are you 'in touch' with your cock though? What about your cock's feelings? Its pain? Do you understand it?

chuchulkp: rephrase ur ? if u need a reply
Jenny: To have sex at it's fullest, you must treat your cock not as an extension or appendage...you must treat it as a part of you with feelings, needs, pain, and desire.
chuchulkp: agree
Jenny: My pussy, Susan, would like to talk to your cock....

chuchulkp: sure hai susie
Jenny: 'Hi chuchulkp's penis. I am Susan.....I would like you to enter me, but you are so large and fierce....It is a very frightening thought.'

chuchulkp: susie pussy this is bigbertha
Jenny: For us to enter a higher plain of sexuality....our genitals must converse and feel comfortable with one another....

chuchulkp: ok we will leave them alone its their turn . we sahll leave the court for them
Jenny: Jenny sticks random objects in me, but never a fleshy piece of rod like yourself....
chuchulkp: hi susie this is bb, fuck jenny its us and only us now ok
Jenny: Toothbrushes, bananas, cell phones....she has no care for what she sticks in me....It is kind of insulting to me as a vagina.

Jenny: Nice to meet you BB....that's a such a nice name for an attractive penis like yourself
chuchulkp: poor thing my little susie pussy.
Jenny: This is fantastic progress.....We are on level 4 of the sexual chart of happiness.

chuchulkp: now onwards its only me and not anything or any one else agree?
Jenny: Agree!
Jenny: Now, BB, I am a pussy but I do have feelings too....do you promise not to lose respect for me, if we do end up fucking.

chuchulkp: sure
Jenny: Now....you must past the test of the blood letting.....
Jenny: *Suddenly, Susan becomes engorged in blood....*

Jenny: What about now? Now that I am at my most sensitive and vulnerable? I am aching for comfort, yet I continually bleed.......

chuchulkp: eeek what's that?
Jenny: I am yearning for a seed to enter me, but I am bleeding and unattractive......I also piss whenever Jenny's bladder becomes full...How can you ever love me, knowing that I reek of the stench of urine ?

chuchulkp: thats real bloody stuff susie
Jenny: I cannot help it....Jenny is on her period...and I feel the effects....Would you still love me?
chuchulkp: later not now bye bye
Jenny: I look at other pussys and I feel so unattractive.....I think....'Why, God, why me??? Why I am I attached to this fat girls body? Why cannot I be the pussy of Pamerla Anderson??'

chuchulkp: if so i did luv u any way (its pammy's u see)
Jenny: Oh my God!!!

chuchulkp: yes
chuchulkp: u shouldn't be so surprised
Jenny: 'Jenny starts breathing heavy and falls to the ground'

chuchulkp: amen
Jenny: AAAAAHHH!!!!! *Susan starts having fierce contractions*

chuchulkp: what's happening
Jenny: Holy shit.....holy shit.....It's TIME!!!!!

chuchulkp: what for?
Jenny: AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! Get me to the hospital!!!!!!!!

Jenny: *Jenny gets on the ground and spreads her legs......breathing in and out...*

chuchulkp: then
Jenny: Get me some wet towels and a blanket!!!

Jenny: The BABY!!!! It's coming!!!!!

chuchulkp: looks cute resembles me
Jenny: You have failed miserably at the Yoga Sex Exercises......
Jenny: I have not reached Nirvannah.........
chuchulkp: neither me ans so u failed too
Jenny: Now....I am reincarnating......
chuchulkp: now ur real a/s/l
Jenny: *My skin starts to stetch to enormous lenghts...I start to morph and shapeshift.....*
Jenny: *Your horrible performance has caused me to transform into an enormous penis....*
chuchulkp: do u use ur fingers
chuchulkp: u eunuch
chuchulkp: tomboy
chuchulkp: #$^^*&$#!$@~#@
Jenny: *I am now a gigantic penis.....Except I am all flacid and soft...unable to get hard....just as you were unable to sexually please me*
chuchulkp: exiting
chuchulkp: extiting
chuchulkp: exitinig
chuchulkp: byebyebyebyebye
Jenny: *I lower my head and pick you up onto my cock lips......I give you a nice cock kiss, hoping to make amends for our failed performances..*
chuchulkp: no thanks u non performer
chuchulkp: better luck next time
chuchulkp: byebyebye and thats for real
Jenny: I am a cock...I have feelings too....Sometimes, as I sit softly in a pair of jeans, I sit and wonder what it would be like to flop around freely in the wind.
Jenny: Talk to me dammit!! Validate my existance as a genital!!!
chuchulkp: your existance is invalidated back off nowrejected
chuchulkp: your existance is invalidated back off now
Jenny: Lick my balls....talk to my balls....make them feel your love and acceptance.
Jenny: Blow softly on them and lather them in fresh, scented oils.......To appreciate a cock, means you must appreciate the nutsack as well.....
Jenny: Okay....you have reverted back to level 1......I am going to write to Cosmo and rat you out for being a bad lay.....Dr. Judy is going to have a field day with you!!!
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