IntoxiChrist: Hello, My child. What the fuck is up, manwhore?
WeezerFan4eva: not ur IQ masterbater
IntoxiChrist: My IQ doesn't matter. I'm sure I've burned a few brain cells smoking pot, but I Am the Son of the Living God, I Am holy and supreme, I don't need to have a high IQ. Now suck Me off.
WeezerFan4eva: jesus wasnt homphobic
IntoxiChrist: You're goddamn right I'm not homophobic. I asked you to suck My cock, I'm a Man, you're a man.
WeezerFan4eva: uh ya so ur gay
IntoxiChrist: Not typically. I'm just paid to have gay sex, that's all.
IntoxiChrist: I'll cyber with guys online sometimes, but only if they have a tight ass and a pretty mouth.... like yours.
WeezerFan4eva: ya well not w/ me
IntoxiChrist: Yes, with you. I Am the Lord of All Creation, and you will fucking cyber with Me... either do it now, or I'll fuck you when you get to Heaven anyway.
IntoxiChrist: And you will like it.
WeezerFan4eva: well i thought ur mom, marry the mother of christ the virgin, was fucking amazing last night
IntoxiChrist: Well, if you like bitches who've been dead for over 2,000 years, that's great - whatever makes your monkey jump.
WeezerFan4eva: well ur moms did
IntoxiChrist: Sweet! I'm wondering how her rotted, decomposed body was able to accomodate your inferior penis without crumbling to dust... I guess that doesn't matter, though. You fucked a 2,000 year old corpse, you're happy, I'm horny, now let's fuck.
WeezerFan4eva: if ur jesus tell me about me
IntoxiChrist: Okay: First of all, you have a small, mostly-useless penis. I say "mostly" because it'd make a great novely item, and if you detach it, you can clean the wax out of your ears or pick your nose. Secondly, you suck.
WeezerFan4eva: jesus wasnt perverted
WeezerFan4eva: fuck face
IntoxiChrist: Er... huh? You think you know Me? If you think that I Am not a pervert, then you truly do not know Me.
WeezerFan4eva: y u contradict urslef
IntoxiChrist: I can understand the reason why you think you know Me. It has to do with a homophobic, early Pope who omitted certain parts of the Bible. These certain parts consisted of gay orgies with My disciples (even Judas, that hung little traitor), with Me sucking their cocks, giving them rimjobs, and them returning to favor.
IntoxiChrist: Ever try eating ass just as you woke up? Peter did. So did John.
IntoxiChrist: Luke was more of a evening ass-eater, though. And he rimmed like a true champion, I tell you.
WeezerFan4eva: just cause the greatest pleasure u get is from both of ur hands and some vasaline doesnt mean ur the son of god
IntoxiChrist: You're right, it doesn't. Otherwise, I'd call you "brother".
IntoxiChrist: Then you'd be My little kid brother! And I would abuse you just the same.
WeezerFan4eva: So youre one of those middle aged idiots,an atheist,who can't comprehend god so you lash out at everyone, oh
IntoxiChrist: How would you like that? You could have Me, Jesus, as a Big Brother!! I could teach you about cool shit, like getting laid, and how to use Bible papers for rolling doobies!
IntoxiChrist: Um. Who the fuck said anything about Me being an atheist? I believe in Me.
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WeezerFan4eva: *Round Two*
IntoxiChrist: I'm the Referee.
WeezerFan4eva: so whats ur positon on abortion
IntoxiChrist: My position? Doggy style. There's nothing quite like shoving my Mighty Messiah-Meat into the rectum of an aborted fetus. Ever tried it? Kinda squishy, but tight as fuck. There's nothing else on Earth like it. Trust Me.
WeezerFan4eva: so u like ficking aboted childdrem
IntoxiChrist: Sure, I like "ficking aboted childdrem", whatever the fuck that THAT means.
WeezerFan4eva: if ur jesus u knew what i ment
IntoxiChrist: Well, don't be a fucking illiterate, then.... *sigh* What is up with all you followers of Me? Same story for you all: "Jesus is My Lord, I don't need to learn how to spell! I am ignorant for God!! Hallelujah!!"
WeezerFan4eva: lets see,you have what two followers you and your dick
IntoxiChrist: Hey - just to let you know, I don't really mind having an army of illiterate followers. Just give Me your money, and drive through, okay?
WeezerFan4eva: how may staions of the corss are there
IntoxiChrist: I'm a Stallion of the Cross. There's one of Me, so the answer is One.
WeezerFan4eva: no thats not the right answer
IntoxiChrist: I Am the answer. Don't you know that? "Jesus is the answer!"
WeezerFan4eva: well ur not jesus, whats a stigmata?
IntoxiChrist: I Am Jesus. I Am your Lord and Savior, fuckwit.
WeezerFan4eva: umm well whats a stigmata????
IntoxiChrist: They're little wounds around My tender asshole, permanent scars that show the "humiliating" (but stimulating) sodomy I endured during My crucifixion.
IntoxiChrist: I'd do it again... just for the huge, meaty cock in My ass. Mmm. Cock.
WeezerFan4eva: where are they, how many do u have?
IntoxiChrist: I have stigmata on my hands and feet. My hands were from jacking the Roman soldiers off. There's nothing like having a Roman sentry shooting jism all over your face.
IntoxiChrist: My feet? Well, a number of 'em had foot fetishes. I can't really explain it, but hell... I can give foot-jobs at request. And let Me tell you - if you haven't gotten a foot-job from Jesus H. Christ, you haven't gotten a real foot-job.
IntoxiChrist: I answered several of your questions. Now, it is time for you to answer a few of Mine.
WeezerFan4eva: aight
IntoxiChrist: Have you ever had gay sex?
WeezerFan4eva: When I was young, the smallest
trick of light, Could catch my eye,
Then life was new and every new
day, I thought that I could fly. I
believed in what I hoped for, And I
hoped for things unseen, I had
wings and dreams could soar, I just
don't feel like flying anymore. When
the stars threw down their spears,
Watered Heaven with their tears,
Before words were spoken, Before
eternity. Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend. I
want to fly higher, Every new day
again. When I was small, the
furthest I could reach, reach, was
not so high, then, I thought the
world was so much smaller, feeling
I, could fly. Through distant deeps
and skies, behind infinity, below the
face of Heaven, he stoops to create
me. Man versus himself. Man
versus machine. Man versus the
world. mankind versus me. The
struggles go on, the wisdom I lack,
the burdens keep piling up on my
back. So hard to breathe, to take
the next step. The mountains is
high, I wait in the depths. Yearning
for grace, and hoping for peace.
Dear God... increase. Healing
hands of God have mercy on our
unclean souls once again. Jesus
Christ, light of the world burning
bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without
condition, a beginning or an end.
Here’s my heart, let it be forever
Your’s, only you can make every
new day seem so new.
IntoxiChrist: I'll take that as a "yes". Would you like to have more gay sex?
WeezerFan4eva: no
IntoxiChrist: Then why do you want to go to Heaven?
IntoxiChrist: That's a beautiful poem, by the way. If you're not trying to serenade My Cock, though, then what's your motive?
WeezerFan4eva: healing hands of god, have mercy, on your unclean soul
IntoxiChrist: My healing hands want to grasp your tight buttocks. Is that okay?
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