lickermgr: u there?
NYCockExchange: Really??!! Oh my God!! That's awesome!
NYCockExchange: Hold on a second, I'll be right back!
lickermgr: ok
NYCockExchange: Okay, I'm back!
lickermgr wants to directly connect. lickermgr is now directly connected.
lickermgr:
lickermgr:
lickermgr:
lickermgr:
NYCockExchange: Wow!!! That is some HOT teabagging action!! Oh my god!! I'm *so* going to masturbate to those!
lickermgr: ok now u got some for me right?
NYCockExchange: I'm going to masturbate like I always do: one hand down there, stroking my clit, and the other hand dunking an overripe advocodo into my mouth.
lickermgr: u got pix for me?
NYCockExchange: I think that's spelled "advocado", though. Fuck. Oh well... umm... what were you saying?
lickermgr: good pics for me?
NYCockExchange: Yeah - but I have questions about your pictures, first. Is that cool?
lickermgr: ok?
NYCockExchange: Awesome, thanks. What's going on in that first picture?
NYCockExchange:
lickermgr: from underneath the spot is from the flashlight
lickermgr: didnt have candles
NYCockExchange: Oh, so you had a flashlight on your nuts? I thought you were going to be romantic and do it with a candle.
NYCockExchange: Can you put a rose next to the flashlight next time? Or between your nutsack and your inner thigh?
lickermgr: not too many roses around here
NYCockExchange: Well, damn. I guess I can't get everything my way, can I? Fuckin' sucks. Anyway, on to Question #2:
lickermgr: ok
NYCockExchange: What is going on in the second picture? When I tilt my head sideways, it looks like a groundhog poking it's head out of a hole to look for it's shadow. Can I frame that one, and call it "Groundcock Day"?
lickermgr: if u want
NYCockExchange: Duuude!!
You're the best!! NYCockExchange: Okay, Question #3:
NYCockExchange: What is going on in the third picture? It reminds me of that part from the Goonies when Chunk discovered Sloth in the room - then Sloth turned around with his wispy-headed, misshapen head, and started blurting out all of that 'tard-speak.
NYCockExchange: Right now, I have this fucking hot fantasy of you teabagging me, babbling "Baby... Ruth!!? Baby.... Ruth!??!" over and over again.
NYCockExchange: Is it okay if I masturbate right now?
lickermgr: i got a candle lit one wait
NYCockExchange: Really? Whoa!!!!
NYCockExchange: ...What did you do, make your own candle from crayons and earwax? Strange how it just appeared out of nowhere...
lickermgr: now i cant find it
lickermgr: do you have yahoo im?
NYCockExchange: No, I don't. You're just going to have to look harder.
NYCockExchange: Get it? Look "harder"? HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
lickermgr direct connection is closed.
NYCockExchange: Hey, you closed the connection. What the fuck??
lickermgr: i did sorry accident
NYCockExchange: No, it's okay. I'm sure you're working VERY DILIGENTLY to get this 13-year-old girl pictures of your nutsack, and probably just pressed the wrong button. It happens to everyone!
lickermgr: yes i am
NYCockExchange: Well, it sure is appreciated. Are you trying to find it, or are you going to take a new one?
lickermgr: i may have to take a new one
lickermgr: i will
NYCockExchange: Okay!
Make it have a lot of contrast, like it's out of some black-and-white Gothic porn mag.lickermgr: ok
lickermgr: hold on
lickermgr wants to directly connect. lickermgr is now directly connected.
lickermgr:
lickermgr:
lickermgr: ok?
NYCockExchange: Yeah, those are awesome!!! It looks like a neurosurgeon marked up a bald spot on someone's head to prepare them for a lobotomy!!!
lickermgr: so wheres the pics u promides me?
NYCockExchange: Oh, wait - wait - wait!! I got another question for you.
lickermgr: ok?
NYCockExchange: Question #4: Why do your nuts look like they have eyelashes?
lickermgr: theyre not shaved
NYCockExchange: Oh. ....Are you seeing the all of those weird skull-shapes in your nutsack? Or am I just too fucked on mushrooms and acid right now?
lickermgr: i dunno
NYCockExchange: Wait - check it out. Stare at those last two pictures of your scrotum for about two minutes, and tell me if you see the skulls.
NYCockExchange: Basically, your nutsack looks like a big flesh-colored pile of skulls. Like the ones in Cambodia's Killing Fields nearly three decades ago.
lickermgr: no just send me some
lickermgr: pics
NYCockExchange: You should seriously spend a little time staring at your balls. Can't you just stare at your balls for two minutes?
lickermgr: i dont see skulls ok
NYCockExchange: I'm seeing at least 5 skulls in your balls, man. You didn't stare at your balls for the two whole minutes. Do it! Stare at your balls!!!
lickermgr: id rather stare at your pics send them
NYCockExchange: STARE AT YOUR BALLS!!! RIGHT NOW, GODDAMMIT!!! STARE!!!!
lickermgr: ok i still dont see any skulls your seeing stuff
NYCockExchange: STARE AT YOUR BALLS!!! GLARE AT YOUR GROIN!!! LET YOUR TESTICLES LEAVE YOU IN A TRANCE!!
lickermgr: no u do that
NYCockExchange: Let your eyes take charge; let the right eye say unto the left eye, "Eye of Left, that is Nut of Right and his brother, Nut of Left." Then the Left Eye shall looketh toward both Nuts, and sayeth unto them, "Hello, Nut!!! Nut of Left, it is quite a pleasure to have finally met you. I have heard of your fame and reputation for some time, now. Nut of Right, it is quite an honor to meet a testicle of your prestige."
NYCockExchange: And then, there will be silence. Because the Nuts, themselves, cannot speak.
lickermgr: ok so send me a pic
NYCockExchange: And then!!! The eyes will say unto each other, "We should both invite them into our homes, to get to know those Most Venerable, Sagacious Nuts!" And they agreed. Together, they both rolled from their sockets... and, from the skies, a Hand of God grabbed each of thy testicles, and stuffed it into the thine eyesockets.
lickermgr: just send me a pic
NYCockExchange: ...Therefore, paying the price for every woman who ever had a guy nut in her eyes; you will LITERALLY have nuts in your eyes. In fact, you will have nuts FOR eyes, and you'll have eyesocket-blood soaking your scrotum. You will be the Christ of Those Who Have Nutted In A Chick's Eyes. You shall become their destiny; they will pray to you for forgiveness. And through your blood, their sins will be absolved.
NYCockExchange: In order for the prophecy to be fulfilled, you must receive a Bukkake Baptism: Will you take the final step towards becoming a Cumshot Christ? The Holy Son of the Holy Father of Facials?
lickermgr: no just send me pics
NYCockExchange: STARE AT YOUR BALLS!! SEE THE SKULLS, REPRESENTING THE DEATH OF THOSE WHO FIND NEW LIFE IN YOU, JIZZUS CUMSHOT CHRIST!!! GREAT AND HOLY ARE YOUR POWERS TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE LEFT HOT, STICKY GOBS OF THEIR D.N.A. ALL OVER THEIR PARTNER'S EYEBALLS!!! STARE AT YOUR BALLS, SAVIOUR OF THE SCROTUM!! STARE AT YOUR BALLS, HOLY PRINCE OF THE PACKAGE!!!
lickermgr: send me pics please
NYCockExchange: Stare at your balls!! I command you to stare at your fucking balls, motherfucker!!
lickermgr: i did
NYCockExchange: ...Okay. Did you see the skulls?
lickermgr: no
NYCockExchange: Oh. Okay. Um.
NYCockExchange: Hey, I'm not really a 13-year-old girl. I'm a 38 year old male.
lickermgr direct connection is closed.
NYCockExchange: I plan to post this conversation - with your screen name kept intact - on the internet, along with the pictures of your nuts.
NYCockExchange: Is that okay?
lickermgr: no
NYCockExchange: I need to have your permission, sir. Many people are going to laugh. May I please have your permission?
lickermgr: no
NYCockExchange: I'll pay you two thousand dollars by check, money order, or Paypal. ...I repeat: May I please have your permission?
lickermgr: no
NYCockExchange: Why not?
lickermgr: because i will show what i want to who i want and only i will do that
lickermgr: no one has permission to do otherwise
NYCockExchange: Come on, man. I'm asking nicely and I'm offering you money. How about if I paid you $3,000?
lickermgr: no
lickermgr: you misrepresented your self
NYCockExchange: *sigh* What?!
NYCockExchange: What are you talking about??!
lickermgr: where is the fucked up pic from anyway
lickermgr: u told me u were a 13 yo girl who liked to see mens balls
lickermgr: you lied to me
NYCockExchange: Okay - let me get this straight: You IM'ed me, and I told you that I was a 13-year-old girl?
lickermgr: told me i would get a good clear pic in return
lickermgr: yes
lickermgr: not a nude one just a pic
lickermgr: and i never asked anything sexual from u either
NYCockExchange: And then, you started sending pictures of your balls to me, because you thought I'm 13-years old?
lickermgr: no i thought u were a girl with a ball fetish
lickermgr: and u asked me for them
NYCockExchange: Oh, okay. So then, you started sending pictures of your balls to me, because you thought I was a 13-year-old girl with a ball fetish, asking you for pictures of your nuts?
lickermgr: i sent them to you because u asked for them i never offered them to you
NYCockExchange: That's what happened, right? You started sending pictures of your balls to me, because you thought I was a 13-year-old girls with a ball fetish, asking you for pictures of your nuts?
lickermgr: yes
NYCockExchange: C'mon, man. This is some fucking awesome material here. I'll make you a final offer.
lickermgr: now i find that your a 38 yo guy whats your problem?
NYCockExchange: $5,000 - Five thousand U.S. dollars.
lickermgr: no dont ask again
NYCockExchange: I don't have a problem. I have an audience who would like to laugh at a guy who's showing pictures of his nuts to what HE thinks is a 13-year-old girl with a ball fetish.
NYCockExchange: What the hell? I can't ask again?
NYCockExchange: Okay, okay. Ten thousand dollars. I'll probably make $15,000 dollars from the revenue this chat log generates. I'll only keep $5,000. You can have the other $10,000.
lickermgr: thats nice but u must like pretending your a 13 yo girl asking guys for ball pics
NYCockExchange: Oh shit, I remembered something.
NYCockExchange: I don't have to pay you any money at all!
NYCockExchange: Well, I am sort of paying you 35 warning points, but that's a relatively small price.
NYCockExchange: How does it feel to have your 'nuts on the net AND my nuts on your chin?
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