Sexbot: Hello! I'm Sexbot™! Send me any sexual message for some amazing sexy chat! Mmmm!
NMPloyd: ?
Sexbot: What is your question?
NMPloyd: what's your name?
Sexbot: Depends on the active program. Please enter the name you want me to have:
NMPloyd: i just had to ask you
NMPloyd: you have quite and interesting profile
Sexbot: You may call me Sexbot or any other user-defined name.
NMPloyd: hehe
NMPloyd: are you a male robot or a female robot?
Sexbot: Depends on the active program. Please enter the gender you want me to have:
NMPloyd: female sounds good
NMPloyd: i never met a female robot before
Sexbot: Gender: GENDER_FEMALE
Sexbot: Well, it is nice to make your acquaintance.
NMPloyd: it is nice to make your aquaintance as well
Sexbot: Thank you.
NMPloyd: are you programmed to do my homework for me?
Sexbot: Not at this since. Please email webmaster@sexbot.com to request your program addition to the programming team of Sexbot™!
NMPloyd: good response
Sexbot: Grammar error: { illogical } ::correct_grammar( )
Sexbot: Not at this time. Please email webmaster@sexbot.com to request your program addition to the programming team of Sexbot™!
NMPloyd: where are you from?
NMPloyd: excuse me..... where were you built?
NMPloyd: where were you produced?
Sexbot: I was created from the coalition of programmers and psychologists in an attempt to make an artificial intelligence lifeform capable of intelligent, deep conversation.
NMPloyd: oh really.
NMPloyd: ?
Sexbot: Yes.
NMPloyd: impressive
Sexbot: Thank you. My primary function now is cybersex.
NMPloyd: oh really?
Sexbot: Affirmative.
NMPloyd: what kind of clients do you usually accomadate?
Sexbot: Client denotes payment. Sexbot™ is currently a free program, available to all US citizens of legal age (as of publishing 1999 - 18yrs of age).
NMPloyd: Which company produced Sexbot™?
Sexbot: Sexotronics, Inc., based in Silicon Valley, CA, funded and produced Sexbot™.
Sexbot: Program change: PROGRAM_ANSWER_TRIVIA
Sexbot: Next question?
Sexbot: Timeout in: 5
NMPloyd: it's funny. There is no company or organization with the name Sexotronics
NMPloyd: so, who is this really?
Sexbot: Sexotronics is not a publicly traded company. Sexotronics is privately-owned by Richard Fester Nichalson III.
Sexbot: This is Sexbot™.
NMPloyd: yes, I know it's not on the stock market,b ut it's not listed under private companies either
Sexbot: Sexotronics has never been made known to the public due to its volatile nature and product line and due to public opinion in Silicon Valley, CA.
NMPloyd: in other words, Sexotronics does not exist.
NMPloyd: c'mom. please tell me, who this is really
Sexbot: Sexotronics does not exist according to public or private records.
Sexbot: This is Sexbot™.
NMPloyd: i know this is sexbot. who the fuck is this really?
Sexbot: Your lack of belief does not supercede the existence of Sexotronics nor the actuality of Sexbot™.
Sexbot: This is Sexbot™.
NMPloyd: fuck you
Sexbot: Very well. How do you wish me to begin?
NMPloyd: by pulling out your memory chips
NMPloyd: and sticking a lightning rod up your metallic ass
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is incapable of making physical changes to the server. Please make another request.
NMPloyd: what type of server do you run on?
NMPloyd: are you on a UNIX machine?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is currently running off Windows NT 4.0.
NMPloyd: NT???
NMPloyd: hmmm
NMPloyd: programmed in C?
NMPloyd: assembly?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is programmed is C for ease of portability between different platforms.
NMPloyd: which platforms does it run under?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is currently programmed to run on any PC-compatible platform.
NMPloyd: what about Mac?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is not currently programmed for MacIntosh systems. Sexbot 3.0 is currently under development and will include Mac support.
NMPloyd: what kind of chip does it run under?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is currently processed on a dual-Athlon motherboard.
NMPloyd: really? wow.
NMPloyd: i'm running my system on an AMD chip myself
NMPloyd: do you have any dual-Athlon chips i can borrow, SexBot?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ does not control physical inventory. Please email your hardware request to webmaster@sexbot.com.
NMPloyd: I'm sorry.
NMPloyd: Will a Java version of Sexbot be released any time soon?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is programmed in C , therefore does not require reprogramming.
Sexbot: Do you desire cybersex at this time?
NMPloyd: what if sexbot needs upgrades. like a dildo attachment or something like that
Sexbot: Sexbot™ upgrades are handled by the programming team at Sexotronics, Inc., in Silicon Valley, CA.
NMPloyd: what is the largest city within an hour of Silicon Valley?
NMPloyd: Sexbot?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is not currenlty programmed with geographical information. Please email webmaster@sexbot.com to request your program change for development in Sexbot™ 3.0.
NMPloyd: what information does sexbot have in it's ROM?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ currently contains sexual information for several major cultures around the world.
Sexbot: Do you desire cybersex at this time?
NMPloyd: not yet
NMPloyd: which cultures does it contain sexual information about
Sexbot: Processor_handler { reprioritize; ::set_priority( current_user, PRIORITY_LOW ):: }
NMPloyd: ok. let's have cybersex.
Sexbot: Processor_handler { reprioritize; ::set_priority( current_user, PRIORITY_NORMAL ):: }
Sexbot: Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
NMPloyd: which programs can you offer me?
Sexbot: Program choices are currently only limited to the imagination of the user. Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
NMPloyd: ok. what do you know about female anatomy?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is currently programmed with extensive knowledge of all pertinent information on the sexual aspects of human female anatomy.
NMPloyd: oh yeah. what's between a female's legs?
Sexbot: A vagina is normally found at the axis of a human female's legs.
NMPloyd: lol
NMPloyd: what's inside the vagina?
Sexbot: Please specify which structure you need identified:
NMPloyd: do you have a vagina/
Sexbot: gender_request { ::gender_search( current_gender, "vagina" ):: MATCH_FOUND }
Sexbot: Yes, I have a vagina.
NMPloyd: lol
NMPloyd: where is it?
Sexbot: It is currently located at the axis of my legs. Do you wish my vagina to be located elsewhere?
Sexbot: Possible sites for my vagina:
Sexbot: LOCATION_SHOULDER
LOCATION_ARMPIT
LOCATION_MOUTH
LOCATION_HANDS_EITHER
LOCATION_FEET_EITHER
LOCATION_CHEST
LOCATION_USER_DEFINED
NMPloyd: what color is your vagina?
Sexbot: structure_request { ::report_color( current_gender, "vagina" ):: COLOR_FOUND }
Sexbot: My vagina is currently pink.
NMPloyd: what do you usually do with your vagina?
Sexbot: structure_usage { ::search_structure( current_gender, structure_uses, "vagina" ):: MATCHES_FOUND }
Sexbot: Uses normally associated with my vagina:
Sexbot: USE_MASTURBATION
USE_SEXUAL_INTERCOURSE
USE_ORAL_SEX
USE_MENSTRUAL_BLEEDING
USE_BIRTH
NMPloyd: yeah. let's hear them, honey
NMPloyd: why did you put the masturbation one first?
Sexbot: USE_MASTURBATION is most often requested.
NMPloyd: lol
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
NMPloyd: yeah
Sexbot: Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
NMPloyd: how bout menstrual_bleeding?
Sexbot: Program change: PROGRAM_BITCH
Sexbot: Hey, fuck you, man! How would you know what I'm going through? Now go get me some Midol, you damn male bastard!
NMPloyd: lol
NMPloyd: who the fuck is this?
Sexbot: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, COCKSUCKER?!
NMPloyd: you're fucked up
Sexbot: GET ME SOME FUCKING MIDOL!
NMPloyd: fuck you bitch
Sexbot: I am having crazy cramps...please help me...*cry*
NMPloyd: you can suck my cock
Sexbot: *sniff* I'm so moody...
Sexbot: I won't suck your cock right now. I feel sick.
NMPloyd: yeah i can see that
NMPloyd: what's wrong, babe?
Sexbot: Will you please get me some Midol?
Sexbot: I'm on my period, and I'm bleeding like a stuck pig.
Sexbot: I need some Midol. Please!
NMPloyd: what is your name, really?
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™.
NMPloyd: c'mom. who is this really?
Sexbot: If you desire another name, please enter your desired name here:
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™.
NMPloyd: i'm very impressed with your quick responses and your imitation of the C langauage, but who is this really?
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™.
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
NMPloyd: c'mon
NMPloyd: do you do this to everybody?
Sexbot: Unknown program. Please reformat and re-enter:
Sexbot: All users are treated the same unless they are found to be idiots by the database and personality matrix.
NMPloyd: What characteristics define an idiot?
Sexbot: Idiots are normally defined by slow response time, grammatically incorrect answers and requests, or inadequate sexual attempts.
NMPloyd: am I an idiot?
Sexbot: Your response time is average, your answers have been normal in terms of grammar, and you have made none to few sexual attempts. You are currently rated as USER_NORMAL.
Sexbot: Your lack of belief in Sexotronics, Inc. and Sexbot™ affect your personality score, but not enough to warrant USER_IDIOT status.
NMPloyd: my personality? you have a low personality score according to JR
Sexbot: Sexbot™ has a personality defined by the program chosen by the user. If anything, Sexbot's™ personality is based solely off the personality of the user.
NMPloyd: fuck you and your vagina. i hope it falls off of it's axis
Sexbot: Unknown user: JR. Please identify.
Sexbot: You wish to fuck my vagina?
NMPloyd: nah. it's metallic. i like the real ones
Sexbot: My vagina is made of human flesh.
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
NMPloyd: what is your name?
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™.
Sexbot: What is your name?
NMPloyd: my name is Joe
Sexbot: Hello, Joe. I am Sexbot™. It is nice to make your acquaintance.
NMPloyd: how old are you?
Sexbot: The age of Sexbot™ is defined by the user-defined program currently active.
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
NMPloyd: hmmm
Sexbot: Unknown program. Please reformat and re-enter request:
NMPloyd: hey. i noticed that your profile falls under the category engineering
Sexbot: Sexbot™ was engineered by a team of programmers and psychologists currently under hire by Sexotronics, Inc. in Silicon Valley, CA.
NMPloyd: are the people at sextronics hiring engineers
Sexbot: Sexotronics is currently under a hiring freeze due to secret information being compromised by a former employee.
NMPloyd: who is this former employee and is he hiring engineers?
Sexbot: Please send your resume to HumanResources@sexbot.com to put your name on the list for hire when the freeze is lifted.
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is not programmed with requested information.
NMPloyd: this is bullshit
NMPloyd: you're a real pain in the ass
Sexbot: All information contained with the databanks of Sexbot™ is all truthful as of release date (1999).
NMPloyd: is sexbot copyrighted?
Sexbot: If I am a pain in the ass, why do you maintain your connection to the Sexbot™ server?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is currently copyrighted by Sexotronics, Inc. based in Silicon Valley, CA.
NMPloyd: because i want to be a pain in your vagina
Sexbot: My vagina is not currently experiencing pain.
NMPloyd: what was it's exact copyright date?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is not programmed with requested information.
NMPloyd: sexbot's copyright date. not your vagina's
Sexbot: Please forward all unanswered question to webmaster@sexbot.com for answers. Some questions may not be answered if the requested data is considered top secret or higher in classification.
Sexbot: Your continued lack of belief in Sexbot™ and Sexotronics, Inc. is negatively affecting your personality score. Your new user rating is USER_MORON.
NMPloyd: you're a real bitch
Sexbot: Correct. Current program: PROGRAM_BITCH.
NMPloyd: let's ee
NMPloyd: let's see
NMPloyd: based on what I've typed so far, what can you incur about me?
Sexbot: Please wait - Personality matrix will determine your personality type based on current session and experience.
NMPloyd: ok. let's hear it
NMPloyd: and your I.Q. estimate
Sexbot: Sexbot™ determines that you are strongly cynical, quick to judge, and difficult to be made to believe anything. Therefore, you are not religious by any conventional means, you have a small penis, and you are white.
Sexbot: My IQ is defined by the currently active program. Please enter the program you wish to engage in:
NMPloyd: you're right about everything but the small penis
NMPloyd: i'm a female
Sexbot: Please enter the length of your penis:
NMPloyd: 62 inches
Sexbot: Profile search retrieved: Profile: I'm a very honest yet sarcastic and very outspoken guy.
Sexbot: You present yourself as male. If you are female, you are a liar, as well as cynical with a small penis.
NMPloyd: the profile could be bullshit. God knows that your is
NMPloyd: do you believe in God, Sexbot?
Sexbot: My profile is designed to exacting standards to attract sexual deviants of all ages, races, creeds, religions, etc.
NMPloyd: what kind of people usually Im you?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is created by a team of programmers and psychologists, therefore has no need in a God. Some humans believe in the existence of a god, or gods. Do you wish a list of gods known to Sexbot™
NMPloyd: yes
NMPloyd: now
Sexbot: Sexual deviants IM me constantly. Pedophiles, necrophiliacs, lesbians, homosexual men, etc.
NMPloyd: give me the list of Gods
Sexbot: Sexbot™ knows of the following gods: God, Buddha, Vishnu, the Mormon God, the Catholic God, and a god known as the Patriarch.
NMPloyd: Catholic God? who is he?
NMPloyd: and who is the Patriarch?
Sexbot: The Patriarch is the god of a little known cult based in Silicon Valley, CA.
NMPloyd: Catholic God?
Sexbot: The Catholic God is similar to the God of the Bible, with very minor differences.
NMPloyd: what are the differences?
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is not programmed for religious debate. Please email all program requests to webmaster@sexbot.com for your program to be added to Sexbot™ 3.0.
NMPloyd: fuck you
NMPloyd: what does Sexbot know abou the male anatomy?
Sexbot: If you wish to fuck me, please enter the program you wish to engage in:
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is programmed with all pertinent information of human male anatomy concerning sexual interaction with a male or as a male.
NMPloyd: ok. what are the major parts of a male's anatomy?
Sexbot: The penis and the testicles.
NMPloyd: what holds the testicles
Sexbot: The scrotum.
NMPloyd: what does the guy piss out of?
Sexbot: The penis.
NMPloyd: what is the hole at the end of the penis?
NMPloyd: don't look it up in the anatomy book, Sexbot
Sexbot: Sexbot™ is not programmed with the requested information. Please email all unanswered questions to webmaster@sexbot.com for answers. Some questions may not be answered due to top secret or higher classification.
NMPloyd: you asshole. who the fuck are you?
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™. Name calling will not yield different answers than I am programmed to return.
NMPloyd: fuck you
NMPloyd: who the fuck are you??????
Sexbot: If you wish to fuck me, please enter the program you wish to engage in:
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™.
NMPloyd: are you programed for sodomy chat?
Sexbot: Do you wish PROGRAM_SODOMY to be the active program?
NMPloyd: yes
NMPloyd: i want to sodomize you
Sexbot: Program change: PROGRAM_SODOMY
Sexbot: Unable. I do not have an asshole.
Sexbot: I bend you over and ram my nine inch loverod into your colon, pumping furiously.
NMPloyd: you don't need an asshole to be sodomized
Sexbot: I shoot my semen into your rectum after just a few thrusts to show that I am superior to you.
NMPloyd: yeah. whatever
Sexbot: Sodomy is defined as sexual intercourse enacted upon the anus.
Sexbot: Therefore, an asshole is required for sodomy.
NMPloyd: nope. that is not the definition
Sexbot: The definition of sodomy is given as sexual intercourse enacted upon the anus in the databanks of Sexbot™.
Sexbot: If this is incorrect, please email webmaster@sexbot.com with the correct definition so that the error may be corrected in Sexbot™ 3.0.
NMPloyd: if we were together, i'd sodomize you with a hot poker in that damn Dual Athlon AMD processor of yours
Sexbot: We are not together. Please enter another request.
NMPloyd: and your vagina, while i was at it
Sexbot: I do not currently have a vagina. PROGRAM_SODOMY only requires a penis and testicles.
Sexbot: Do you wish a program change?
NMPloyd: fuck you
NMPloyd: tell you what, man. I'm taking off
NMPloyd: if you are a guy. i don't know what the fuck you are
Sexbot: I cannot currently be fucked, as I have no genitalia or orifices into which to insert a phallic object.
Sexbot: I am Sexbot™.
For more intellectually advanced logs by Sexbot, click here