Kaen: Dammit, Dirk - fucking minimize the porn for a second and listen to me.
dirk000O1: ?
Kaen: Geez - what is your deal? Why are you ignoring me? We're like best friends.
dirk000O1: im... not your dirk
Kaen: Dude, so anyway, we're all making fun of this Kubihibi idiot on Baiting.org today, and fuckin' Sven starts telling this story. The story wasn't funny so much as the way he told it - he laughed halfway through and fucking bourbon and coke came out his nose.
Kaen: *sigh* Dude, if you're going to play this lame-ass game with me again, I'm coming over there right now and beating the holy fucking shit outta you.
Kaen: Stop being a faggot.
Kaen: DAMMIT, DIRK! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO GAY?!
Kaen: I know you're busy working on that porn site, but for the love of God, I only want a minute or two of your attention.
dirk000O1: Its a biological thing.
Kaen: I know. We'll talk about it later, but first, let's talk about our relationship.
Kaen: I don't feel that you give me enough attention. I mean, it's always about you, you, you - never me at all. I feel neglected and I don't feel that you love me like you used to.
dirk000O1: Im not your dirk , damnit, i don't even know who you are!
Kaen: Remember that night when you told me you loved me? *sigh* I loved that night.
Kaen: That was probably the best sex we've ever had, wouldn't you say?
Kaen: *sigh* Look, if this is your way of breaking up with me, I'm not having it, mister!
Kaen: At the very least, you could have the common decency to call me and break up over the phone - AIM is so impersonal!
Kaen: Just talk to me. You know I love you. Just because we're experimenting with homosexuality doesn't mean you have to shun me even in private conversations.
dirk000O1: .....yea
Kaen: I won't tell anyone about your "birth mark", as you call it. I promise. Just talk to me.
Kaen: Why do you want to break up with me? I don't understand. You said I fellate better than any of your other boyfriends.
Kaen: Look, Dirk - I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. If I don't fist you right during our felching sessions, I'm sorry - I'll do better next time, I promise. Is it because I said your mother dressed like a Walmart employee? I'm sorry - I didn't mean it. It was the champagne coolie talking...
dirk000O1: felching hm?
dirk000O1: Corn sandwiches?
Kaen: Oh, come on - this whole "Amnesia" thing is so Three's Company, Dirk. I know you know me (biblically) and I know you (much the same way). You know what felching is, and so do I. Remember? You said I was the best you've ever had.
dirk000O1: Your a very sad individual
Kaen: I know what it is! It's because I shrugged when you asked if that shirt made of Saran Wrap or whatever you made it from made you look fat. NO! Of course not!
Kaen: I'm sad? I'm gonna bitchslap you next time I see you, honey, because ain't nobody around here gonna be sad except for you when I drop your ass like a used condom found at a rest stop during a homosexual convention, girlfriend!
Kaen: Look, I'm sorry - I said some things I shouldn't have. Can you forgive me?
dirk000O1: Yes , but im not dirk
dirk000O1: I have never seen you naked , let alone performed analingus on you
Kaen: I promised myself if it ever came to this that I wouldn't cry. I promised myself! And here I go! I'm crying now! ARE YOU HAPPY, YOU MONSTER!?
Kaen: If you want to break up, just call me and tell me. Or have the decency to invite me to the Blue Oyster bar to do it. At least there I can pick someone else up on the rebound.
dirk000O1: The Blue Oyster is fake
dirk000O1: come on
dirk000O1: Im not your dirk
dirk000O1: Your dirk ...... still....yea
Kaen: Ah - I knew you loved me. You're still my Dirk! *wiping a tear from my eye* And how can you say that the Blue Oyster is fake?! It's our favorite bar! Are you saying that everything we've done together is not real to you?! ARE YOU?!
dirk000O1: Maybee for Dirk
Kaen: I don't understand what you're saying. Do you love me or not?
dirk000O1: Can i fuck you in the ass?
Kaen: I know deep-down you do, so don't deny it.
dirk000O1: That is the answer to your quesation
dirk000O1: *question
Kaen: Of course you can. You've always been the dominant one in our relationship, which I'm fine with. I think you look better in chaps and a Rainbow flag shirt anyway.
dirk000O1: I thought the rainbow coilition was a African - American thing
Kaen: You know very well that the Gay Christian flag is a Rainbow flag with a white cross in the upper-left hand corner. You carried it in the March on Washington last year! Remember? Right before I had my operation.
dirk000O1: Gays cant be Christians!
Kaen: *GASP* You can't be turning back on our religion, honey! SAY IT ISN'T SO! You said you'd never turn your back on me and Jesus - ever. Not for anything.
Kaen: And now you're denying the very foundation of our faith. I'm starting to wonder about you, Dirk. You can't be the Dirk I fell in love with.
dirk000O1: Good
dirk000O1: Your catching on
Kaen: But I still love you anyway. I know you'll come back into the fold.
dirk000O1: I am tireing of this game
Kaen: Game?! GAME?!
Kaen: My love is a game to you?!
dirk000O1: I dont want you tainted love
Kaen: I love you with the very being of my soul, Dirk. How can you deny me? You make me whole. You complete me. You had me at hello.
Kaen: Tainted love?! Are you saying. .... are you saying you talked to the doctor?
Kaen: Did he say, ....
Kaen: I can't say it...tell me, Dirk - DO I HAVE AIDS?!
dirk000O1: arg
Kaen: I'm crying all over again - Am I HIV-positive now? Did the clinic call?
Kaen: You've gotta tell me.
Kaen: Please, Dirk - if you never love me again, I have to know this.
dirk000O1: Go away faggot
Kaen: Just tell me! Am I HIV-postive or not?! You need to know this, too!
Kaen: If the clinic didn't call, and you're lying to me, I can guarantee you I'm not lubing up for our next fisting session.
dirk000O1: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
dirk000O1: SHUT UP
Kaen: Mmmm....you want Tiger Sex again? That sounds exciting.
dirk000O1: SUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Kaen: Look - call me later, OK? I want to talk about this.
Kaen: I love you.
dirk000O1: IIIII dont
Kaen: Fine - call me later.
dirk000O1: NO!!!!
dirk000O1: DAMN QUEERE
dirk000O1: *QUEER
Kaen: You'll come to your senses. I'll bake you pie tonight.
dirk000O1: -you forgot th "r"
Kaen: I forgot the "a", honey.
dirk000O1: Where?
dirk000O1: i forgot the "e"
dirk000O1: not the "a"
dirk000O1: What kind of name is Kaen ?
Kaen: You know already. We've talked about this. And I don't feel like explaining it to you since you think warning me is funny.
dirk000O1: The warn window didn't show up for me , so i didn't think it went through
dirk000O1: Tell me bitch!
Kaen: *sigh* Honey, I know you're upset - we both are. Let's just talk in the morning on the phone, or over Breakfast at Pete's, OK?
dirk000O1: NO!
Kaen: I don't want to fight anymore.
dirk000O1: Answer me now!
dirk000O1: I dont care what you want
Kaen: You might be the dominant one, honey, but you know as well as I do that demands like that don't get you anywhere...
Kaen: Especially not with me.
dirk000O1: .....
Kaen: Look, call me in the morning, and I'll meet you for breakfast, OK?
Kaen: We'll talk tomorrow over eggs, sunny-side up - your favorite.
dirk000O1: fine
Kaen: G'night, my sweet prince. I love you.
dirk000O1: nigth
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