YouthPastorBob: y0. What can I do you for?
Skafreak890: just thought I would say hi
Skafreak890: I am a youth leader now
YouthPastorBob: Well, hi yourself. How's life treating you?
Skafreak890: so I need to start reading the bible some more
Skafreak890: like daily
Skafreak890: what denomination are you?
YouthPastorBob: Youth leader? That's great!!
I remember back when I was a youth leader. I couldn't handle the
responsibility, and showed up drunk to a lot of my prayer meetings.Skafreak890: that is not good
YouthPastorBob: I'm a Southern Baptist. But every time I say that, I wanna reach for a bottle of Southern Comfort.
Skafreak890: you know it is not good to get drunk
Skafreak890: you must be a good example for all
Skafreak890: especially the youth that you lead
YouthPastorBob: I know!! I'm getting a little better. I knew I had to get help when I held this one prayer meeting at my house. This one chick that I really dug... well, I was trying to pray for her and I suddenly vomited all over her hands.
YouthPastorBob: Then everyone else there started whispering that I was possessed, and they all gathered around and laid their hands on me. It was really embarassing.
YouthPastorBob: You don't have any vices like that, do you?
Skafreak890: nope
YouthPastorBob: Way to make me feel like a loser, there, champ.
Skafreak890: but I know there are much more knowledgable people than I am when it comes to the bible
YouthPastorBob: I'll bet Jesus loves you more than me.
YouthPastorBob:
God, do I need some orange juice.Skafreak890: don't say that
Skafreak890: Jesus loves us all
Skafreak890: just sometimes we all do stupid things, me included
YouthPastorBob: You do stupid stuff? Like... what?
YouthPastorBob: I thought you didn't have any vices!
Skafreak890: we all have something that throws us off occasionally
Skafreak890: we are not perfect, you know
Skafreak890: but we should try to follow Him in all we do
YouthPastorBob: Yeah, I know. It makes me feel REALLY bad when I'm looking at internet porn, knowing that He is watching me.
Skafreak890: don't then
Skafreak890: simple as that
YouthPastorBob: But then, it's like, He game me my sex drive and the patience of 2-year-old negro on meth. So how can I think that He doesn't want me to look at all those pretty chickies?
Skafreak890: okay dude, I think you are in the wrong profession
YouthPastorBob: I'm caught in the crossfire like SRV, man.
YouthPastorBob: Huh?? What do you suggest for me, instead?
Skafreak890: the things you say you are doing are just wrong
Skafreak890: even thinking wrong things is a sin
Skafreak890: the first sin was not when the apple was bitten into
YouthPastorBob: But I don't have to be perfect to follow Him!! If we all had to be perfect, then he would have no followers, right?
Skafreak890: it was when Eve pondered the thought of going against what the Lord told her
YouthPastorBob: Yeah, but she was a chick. She was a FEMALE. And they're not exactly "God's chosen", are they?
Skafreak890: perfect, no
Skafreak890: but we must always focus on Him before us
YouthPastorBob: Well!
It sounds like you really got your shit together, young man!Skafreak890: could not have done anything without the Lord
Skafreak890: for without Him we are mere sinners
YouthPastorBob: Well, then, I guess the Lord's got His shit together, too!
YouthPastorBob: You are SO turned on for God. You are SO on fire, man. I wish I had more guys like you in my Youth Group.
Skafreak890: it is great seeing people that are one fire for the Lord
YouthPastorBob: I mean, as it is... I'm not really happy with them, the kids in my Youth Group right now. The guys are all a bunch of geeks, looking for self-esteem from the girls. And the girls are a bunch of sluts. They wind up having sex. I've had to kick three girls out for getting pregnant.
Skafreak890: that is not good
Skafreak890: sorry to hear that
YouthPastorBob: So, yeah - if they were more on fire - like YOU - they wouldn't be trying to find salvation in fleshly pleasures.
YouthPastorBob: Heh, don't stress man. It's in God's hands, now, and payback's a bitch!!
The three girls also got
kicked out of their houses and have to live in a shelter now. Would I dare take revenge when God clearly has better plans?
Skafreak890: you should of had them go though something called "True Love Waits"
YouthPastorBob: What's that like?
Skafreak890: a program that tells why it is better for the people to wait until marriage
YouthPastorBob: Sounds like something I should have heard of before. I can't believe that I haven't heard of it yet!
Skafreak890: look it up
YouthPastorBob: ...Well, then again, considering how drunk and stoned I get some days, it's probably easy for me to see why I haven't heard of it.
YouthPastorBob: I get kinda lazy that way.
Skafreak890: why do you get drunk or anything like that?
Skafreak890: don't you want to hear those word when you get to heaven" Well done my good and faithful servant"
Skafreak890: that is what we are suppose to be, His servants
Skafreak890: once we accept Him, we are suppose to focus on Him alone and not that of ourselves
YouthPastorBob: I get stoned because it makes my job a little easier for me. I mean, I can talk for HOURS when I'm stoned!
Hahahah, I've had a few "talkings to" by angry parents who had to wait for their kids' service to be finished.YouthPastorBob: I told 'em to shut the hell up, because when the power of God is at hand, the hands on the clock don't matter.
I think that was pretty clever!!YouthPastorBob: BRB, my bowl's cashed.
YouthPastorBob: Okay, back!!
YouthPastorBob: Hello?
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