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Doug Stanhope: Wow, you'r back.
timmygunz572: of course i said i wasn't gonna let u go through this along
Doug Stanhope: Sorry I had to run last night. my dad came back and was horny again. I had to ... you know.
timmygunz572: u did it agian?
timmygunz572: y????
Doug Stanhope: Well, kinda.
timmygunz572: look u need to stop doin' that, the more u do it, the more he's gonna want it, and the more u r gonna get pregnant
timmygunz572: i said a big prayer 4 u last night!!!!!!!!ok
Doug Stanhope: It worked!
timmygunz572: how?
Doug Stanhope: This morning my Dad and his friend Stoolie gave me an abortion with a Dirt Devil and a shoe-stretcher.
Doug Stanhope: I never felt more relieved.
Previous message was not received by timmygunz572 because of error: User timmygunz572 is not available.
timmygunz572: sorry my connection broke
timmygunz572: u have to ask 4, firgiveness
Doug Stanhope: For what?
timmygunz572: for everything
Doug Stanhope: For the abortion?
timmygunz572: yeah and the other things
Doug Stanhope: Ok. Do you forgive me?
timmygunz572: u have to ask GOD for forgiveness not me
timmygunz572: i can't judge u only he can!
timmygunz572: and u can't turn your back on him, u need to stay close w/ him and turn your life around before this happens again
Doug Stanhope: You are my God now, Timmy. You're the only one I believe in anymore.
timmygunz572: no, look, i am not God, there is only ONE GOD, and he can help u way more then i can, i am only here to help u, maybe GOD sent me to you, i dunno, but u need to be close w/ him
timmygunz572: i will be glad to help u, find GOD, if it wasn't for GOD u would be goin' through this alone
Doug Stanhope: Nope. You're God and you don't want to admit it. Like Batman.
timmygunz572: i'm serious i'm not GOD, but i am a christian and i'm here to help u and to help u find the true GOD!
Doug Stanhope: Yesterday I told you that I was looking for a sign from God because my father impregnated me and now I needed an abortion to save me from being my babies sister and "Poof!" - overnight everything has been taken care of, including my fathers insatiable sexual appetite. And now you are going to try to tell me that you are not God? C'mon, I'm smarter than that.
Doug Stanhope: Forgive me Timmy, for I have sinned.
timmygunz572: look i am not GOD, but i am one of his followers, and u asked 4 a sign and he sent me to help you, i know it deep w/in me, but i'm not the true GOD, i promise u
Doug Stanhope: If you're not him - but he *sent you* - what color eyes does he have?
timmygunz572: brown, y?
Doug Stanhope: Liar. You're God. I won't tell anyone.
timmygunz572: no i'm not, but i am one of his children like u r, and i'm here to bring u back to him
Doug Stanhope: Is it wrong to ask you for a Harry Potter book for Christmas? I always wondered if I should just pray for world peace and then hope for the book or if I can just pray to you out-right for it.
timmygunz572: but i promise u i am not GOD, cause he is amazing, i'm just a nice guys who likes to help people
Doug Stanhope: Should I call you "Our Father" or is it cool to just go with "Timmy" when we're not in public?
timmygunz572: harry potter is anti-GOD and is very bad!!!, it preaches everything the BiBle is against there for it is wrong to read those books
Doug Stanhope: Harry Potter is the Anti-Christ? My word, I never knew.
timmygunz572: i am not GOD!!!, i PROMISE, yes harry potter is anti-christ
Doug Stanhope: I will going down to the Cini-Plex and throw a molotov cocktail through the window. In your name, of course. Timmy help us all.
timmygunz572: ok , lol
timmygunz572: but praise GOD not me, plz
timmygunz572: i'm jsut a nice guy, who likes to help others
Doug Stanhope: Why are you laughing?
timmygunz572: i'm not, but i am not GOD
Doug Stanhope: Ok, I get it - wink, wink, you're not God - but I should still stop this Harry Potter thing from steering kids away from you and your word, right?
Doug Stanhope: "And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God..." (Deuteronomy 13: 5)
Doug Stanhope: Which one should I put to death, the author or the actor or just anyone who comes to the matinee?
timmygunz572: i'm not god!!
timmygunz572: i promise u
timmygunz572: i'm just here to help u w/ your problems
timmygunz572: think of me as a person who u can talk to
Doug Stanhope: OK I'm sorry. Let's pretend you're not God. Who do you think God thinks I should put to death on this whole Harry Potter issue?
Doug Stanhope: God? Are you there?
timmygunz572: cause
timmygunz572: its the devil tryin' to take over the world
Doug Stanhope: Wow, for a second there - there was only one set of footprints in my kitchen.
timmygunz572: the world is gonna come to an end very soon, and the devil is tryin' to get as many people as he can before then
Doug Stanhope: Via harry Potter. I'm with you. Go ahead.
timmygunz572: the earth is not gonna be here much longer, and i'm tryin' to help u find GOD before that happens so that u can be saved
timmygunz572: that's y u have to ask him for forgivness, seriously
timmygunz572: what's your first name again?
Doug Stanhope: I have asked forgiveness (see above). Now i have to deal with this Harry Potter thing. My Dad is taking me to the matinee ( he said we could "sit in the back").
timmygunz572: u tell him NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
timmygunz572: u don't wanna C it!!!!!!!!!!or sit in the back!!!!!!!!!
timmygunz572: do it for me!!!!!!!!plz
Doug Stanhope: Now that I know he's the anti-Christ, I know I have to take action. For you... for God.
timmygunz572: !!!!!!
Doug Stanhope: But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me." (Luke 19:27)
Doug Stanhope: So, I'll slay them for you just like your buddy Luke said. Was Luke a Taurus?
timmygunz572: and plz do not have a sexual relationship w/ him anymore, ok!!!!!!
Doug Stanhope: Who, my Dad or Harry Potter? I'm confused.
timmygunz572: your dad!!
timmygunz572: what's your e-mail address?
Doug Stanhope: Dear Lord. Will you please IM me asap regarding this whole "Slay Harry Potter and anyone who goes to the 1:40 pm matinee showing at the Eastbrook Cine-Plex issue. Amen.
timmygunz572: don't go to it! ok
timmygunz572: what's your e-mail address?
Doug Stanhope: See! I *knew* you were God!
timmygunz572: don't go and don't do anything else w/ your dad, ok promise me that
Doug Stanhope: My Dad said not to give out my email to anybody because creeps hang out on the internet. But I guess if you are really God it wouldn't be wrong.
timmygunz572: promise me that u and your dad won't do anything else, sexual ok!!
Doug Stanhope: How can I not do stuff with my Dad? Unless I explain to him that I chatted with Our Lord and Savior on AIM. But you wanna keep a low profile so everybody doesn't keep jamming up your buddy list trying to get Christams persents, huh.
timmygunz572: i need u to promise he cause its wrong to do that!!! and u know it
timmygunz572: u don't want GOD to look down on u do u?
timmygunz572: r u there?
Doug Stanhope: But God says to slay anyone who doesn't believe in him. I just gave you one of many quotes.
Doug Stanhope: "And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:10-11)
timmygunz572: then promise me and to GOD that u wont do anything w/ him again, ok
Doug Stanhope: So, since my Dad cheated on my Mom with me, who gets put to death?
timmygunz572: GOD will forgive u if u ask forgivness!!!
timmygunz572: he will if u ask for forgivness, ok
Doug Stanhope: That doesn't answer my question. Lord.
Doug Stanhope: Who gets put to death?
timmygunz572: he will be punished more then u will, if u ask 4 forgiveness
timmygunz572: he will be put to death if u ask for forgivness
Doug Stanhope: Um, I don't want to get into an argument with Jesus Christ himself over the internet but that passage clearly states that adulterers get the death penalty. No ifs, ands or temporary insanity invovled.
Doug Stanhope: So should I kill him?
Doug Stanhope: Because death for rape isn't really an eye for an eye. Its more like an eye for an ear. Or possibly a digit.
timmygunz572: no u let GOD take care of that, "revenge is mine not your own"
timmygunz572: but its wrong to do that w/ someone so young and especailly since u r his daughter
Doug Stanhope: Hang on one second.
timmygunz572: ok
Doug Stanhope: Ok, now I'm in a world of poop. Check this out.
Doug Stanhope: "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silvers, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)
timmygunz572: here's my e-mail address, sweett572@hotmail.com
Doug Stanhope: Oh, I tried God@Heaven.com and it came back.
timmygunz572: here's my e-mail address, sweett572@hotmail.com
timmygunz572: that is my real address
timmygunz572: i'm not GOD
timmygunz572: i'm a helper
timmygunz572: sent from GOD
Doug Stanhope: Anyhoo, that passage says that if you have sex with a virgin - like my Dad did with me - that he has to pay the father - which is himself - 50 sheckels and then marry her - which would be me.
timmygunz572: sorta like an angel sent to help u!!!!!!!
Doug Stanhope: Ya, ya, whatever. So where can my Dad exchange dollars to sheckels?
timmygunz572: its different cause u r his daughter, that is talkin' about it u and another guy did it
Doug Stanhope: Rules are rules.
timmygunz572: i can't answer that
timmygunz572: not in this way
timmygunz572: rules r changed
Doug Stanhope: God chenged the rules in the Bible? Wow, you'd think that would have got better press.
timmygunz572: i gotta get off of here, but plz e-mail me, ok!!!!!! if u ever need anything and plz promise me that u will stop doin' those things w/ your dad, ok
timmygunz572: i'll talk to u later, ok
Doug Stanhope: Ok, but I should still kill Harry Potter, right?
timmygunz572: your names brenda right?
Doug Stanhope: and after my Dad marries me and pays himself 50 sheckels, i can have sex with him if only to procreate, right?
Doug Stanhope: Brenda. Right. But you knew that. You're God.
timmygunz572: do not have any more sex
Doug Stanhope: Until we're married. Gotcha.
timmygunz572: no u can't marry your dad
timmygunz572: i'll talk to u later
timmygunz572: bye
Doug Stanhope: What time is good to pray to you, anyway. I'm not really a morning person.
timmygunz572: plz e-mail me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doug Stanhope: Yes, my Lord. I will.
timmygunz572: pray to GOD anytime!!!!!!!!! he's alwayz listening
timmygunz572: i'm not GOD, bye
Doug Stanhope: At that email address. Got it.
Doug Stanhope: Amen.
timmygunz572: which address?
timmygunz572: sweett572@hotmail.com, ok
timmygunz572: bye
Doug Stanhope: The one you gave me. God's *secret" email. I won't tell anyone.
Doug Stanhope: Amen.
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Doug Stanhope: God is temporarily unavailable.
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